A Past Not Forgotten
by Ryane-Foxx
Summary: No matter how many years go by, he still can't forget how much he loved him One-shot Rated T just to be safe :))


_**Hey there! So I recently fell back into the habit of my HP addiction . Was in class and this just hit me. Kind of fits my mood and the weather at the moment (minus the snow) Hope you like it!**_

_**Warnings: Major Sadness**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, only the idea of this little tid bit. I make no profit.** _

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Kneeling before the grave in front of him, the wind blew hard; making chills run down his frame. It was close to Christmas now, making the skies darker. Snow flurries began to drift down from clouds, covering the ground in a light sheen of white quickly. He brushed his bare hand over the stone in front of him; fingers numb from the wind against his bare hands.

"How is it that it's been 5 years and no matter how hard I try, I can't move past us?" His voice was low, heavy with unshed tears and emotion.

"You were always such an arse to me, a right git; but I still followed after you like a little pup." His throat choked up, but he swallowed back the emotion before blinking his eyes.

"I still think about the time I first told you how I felt. You thought it was some nasty joke, some trick to make you look stupid; make you lose your job. How is it that I was able to convince you my feelings were real? I can't remember that part anymore…" Running his fingertips over the lilies laid a top the ground; a preservation spell would prevent them from waning from the weather for weeks.

"I miss you, so much, I seem to cry more than ever before. Will it ever get better? You always said it would…" His voice broke off, a small sob escaping him as he lay down; curled partly around the headstone. His hand lay at an odd angle against the worn stone; but he didn't care. He just wanted to feel closer to the only man he was ever able to love.

"She's waiting at home for me and here I am, laid on top of your grave like I do every month. She still isn't sure what I do when I'm gone like this; I can't find it in myself to tell her. I wish you were here, so I didn't have to. So everyone would know. Only a few people know the truth, and they will take it to their grave." Silence filled the air; the wind howling loudly in the atmosphere; speaking out his sorrow for him.

"I love you, so much Sev…I'm sorry I couldn't save you. The only thing I am not sorry for is that you don't have to witness this…I love you." He broke off in sorrow, closing his eyes tightly as his tears streamed down his cheeks. The snow continued to falling; beginning to cover his still-form. Nothing mattered when he was here. He was ashamed to say even _she_ didn't matter when he was here. Digging his nails into the grass when he heard footsteps, he stayed silent.

"I knew I'd find you here when Moony said you hadn't come back 3 hours ago. You've been out here the whole time, haven't you? You'll get sick pup, and she'll worry." Kneeling down next to his godson, he brushed the snow from him.

"She's waiting for you, pup. We all are. We need you to come back to us now." Still not moving, you could barely even tell he was breathing.

"He's never coming back, Siri. He'll never come back to me – to us." He said heartbroken, refusing to move from his place on the ground. Sirius found his chest tighten with unexpressed emotion at his godson's sorrow.

"I know pup, but he would be right angry to know you were like this. He'd want you to take care of yourself; take care of her." He hated reverting to using his niece as a key to bringing him back, but there seemed to be no other way. Feeling the body move under his hand, he helped him up off the ground; wrapping an arm around him to hopefully help fight off the chill.

"You're frozen, we should head home now." His eyes cast down, he still stared wearily at the stone before him. Silently nodding his head, Sirius lead him away from the stone; out of the graveyard and back home to family. As the wind continued to howl and the snow fell from the sky; the lilies brought life to the only onyx stone in the cemetery.

_Severus Snape_

_A man of many talents and accomplishments_

_He was loved greatly and shall be missed dearly_

_A friend_

_A lover_

_A husband_

_A father_

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**_So what did you think? -R.F._**


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